Clubhouse Activities Bulletin · Large-Print EditionLarge-Print Edition
Old Man Creepers
5:30 a.m. Early swim. Lanes one to four reserved7:00 a.m. Early-bird breakfast9:00 a.m. Rehearsal, Carport BQuiet hour, 1:00 p.m. Sol is restingSaturday 7:00 p.m. Doom, clubhouse rec roomDoors at 6:30. Finished before nine

Activities Bulletin · Final edition, spring 2008 · Left on the board

Old ManCreepers

We were old when old was young.

Doom metal · Boca Raton, Florida · 1987–2008

Four residents. One tempo. Rehearsed under Carport B every Saturday, 1987 to 2008.

Read the bulletin
An older man sings into a microphone taped to a walker while a guitarist, a bassist and a woman on drums play to rows of residents on folding chairs in a clubhouse rec room
Saturday, the clubhouse rec room. Shuffleboard continued outside.

Bulletin Item 1

The Pool Schedule

The band formed at the 5:30 a.m. swim. It kept the same hours to the end.

Old Man Creepers formed in Boca Raton in 1987. The four members met swimming laps at 5:30 in the morning at a community pool off Palmetto Park Road. They swam in adjacent lanes for most of a year before anyone spoke.

The band plays doom metal. The tempos are slow, the riffs are long and the volume is considerable. The members have said the speed is not a limitation. It is the point.

We were old when old was young.

Band motto, back sleeve of Get Off My Stage (1989)

Weekly schedule, posted by the pool gate

TimeActivityMonTueWedThuFriSatSun
5:30 a.m.Early swim. Lanes 1–4 reservedMon: yesTue: yesWed: yesThu: yesFri: yesSat: yesSun: yes
7:00 a.m.Early-bird breakfastMon: yesTue: yesWed: yesThu: yesFri: yesSat: yesSun: yes
9:00 a.m.Rehearsal, Carport BMon: noTue: noWed: noThu: noFri: noSat: yesSun: no
1:00 p.m.Quiet hourMon: yesTue: yesWed: yesThu: yesFri: yesSat: yesSun: yes
4:00 p.m.DinnerMon: yesTue: yesWed: yesThu: yesFri: yesSat: yesSun: yes
7:00 p.m.Doom, clubhouse rec roomMon: noTue: noWed: noThu: noFri: noSat: yesSun: no

Rehearsal ends before the lunch seating. It has never run over.

Four older swimmers in goggles and caps standing in a row in a pool at dawn, steam on the water
The 5:30 a.m. swim. Lanes one to four, left to right.

Lane assignments, 1986

  1. 1Earl
  2. 2Hank
  3. 3Sol
  4. 4Dot

Chapter 1

The 5:30 Swim

The pool opened at 5:30 a.m. Four people were reliably in the water when it did. Earl Pittman swam in lane one. Hank Drummond swam in lane two. Sol Brenner swam in lane three, slowly, on his back. Dot Ferraro swam in lane four and lapped all three of them.

They swam side by side for most of 1986 without a conversation. In January 1987 the heater failed and the early swim was cancelled for a week. The four of them stood at the locked gate in the dark at 5:30 each morning anyway. On the fourth morning Hank said he played guitar. Dot said she played drums. Sol said he had a bass in a closet. Earl said he would sing, and that it would need to be slower than whatever they were thinking.

Chapter 2

Carport B

Rehearsals were held under Carport B on Saturday mornings from nine until eleven. The arrangement with the condominium association required the band to finish before the lunch seating. They never once ran over.

Earl rehearsed seated at first. In 1988 he taped the microphone to the crossbar of his walker and stood for the full two hours. He stood for every performance after that.

The four-piece band rehearsing under a pink stucco carport beside a parked white sedan, a sprinkler running on the lawn
Carport B, Saturday, 9:00 a.m. The sprinkler is on a timer.

Chapter 3

Low Tide

Low Tide Records was run out of a spare bedroom in Delray Beach. It released Get Off My Stage in 1989 and Nap of Darkness in 1992. The second record runs forty minutes. Thirty-five of those minutes are the title track, which was recorded in one take. Sol always maintained that he was awake for all of it.

Chapter 4

Still Not Dead

Still Not Dead was released in 2003 and described in its press materials as a comeback. The band objected to the word. They had rehearsed under Carport B every Saturday in the eleven years between records. They had simply not released anything.

Sol Brenner died in 2004. The band kept the Saturday rehearsal and played on as a three-piece. The last show was in the spring of 2008, under Carport B, finished before the lunch seating. Earl Pittman died that fall. Hank Drummond died in 2011. Dot Ferraro kept swimming at 5:30 until 2019.

Bulletin Item 2

Residents’ Roster

Four members. The same four from 1987. Listed by lane.

  1. Lane 1Vocals
    Earl Pittman singing into a handheld microphone, one hand on his aluminum walker, in a wood-paneled community hall
    Earl Pittman. Standing, as he did from 1988.

    Earl “The Growl” Pittman

    Since 1987 · 2008

    Sang into a microphone taped to an aluminum walker from 1988 until the last show, in the spring of 2008. The tape was replaced each spring. Died that fall, at ninety-one.

    “Slower.”

  2. Lane 2Guitar
    Close-up of Hank Drummond’s ear with a beige hearing aid, a guitar headstock behind him
    Hank Drummond. Turned up.

    Hank Drummond

    Since 1987 · 2008

    Played in a golf polo and high white socks. His amp occasionally received AM radio during solos, and the band decided this was intentional. Died in 2011, at ninety. At the service someone set his amp beside the casket. It picked up the marine forecast.

    “It's a texture.”

  3. Lane 3Bass
    Sol Brenner asleep in a brown recliner holding a sunburst bass, a room of other musicians tuning behind him
    Sol Brenner, before a show. He will be woken at the count-in.

    Sol Brenner

    Since 1987 · 2004

    Napped backstage before every show and never missed a downbeat. Died in 2004, at eighty-nine, asleep. The band played the next Saturday as a three-piece and left a gap where the bass would go.

    “Wake me for the riff.”

  4. Lane 4Drums
    Dot Ferraro in a peach tracksuit hitting the drums hard, residents watching from folding chairs
    Dot Ferraro. Forty-eight beats per minute, full force.

    Dorothy “Dot” Ferraro

    Since 1987 · 2008

    Counted in every song, set the tempo and held it. Hit harder than anyone in the building. Outlived the other three. Swam at 5:30 the morning she died, in 2019, at ninety-five.

    “Forty-eight. Not forty-nine.”

Bulletin Item 3

The Records

Three albums on Low Tide Records. Each is charted below by lane, one track to a length. Longer tracks take more of the pool.

Record 1 · 1989

Get Off My Stage

Low Tide Records · 5 tracks · 45 min

The debut. Recorded in a carport over six Saturday mornings. Opens with the eleven-minute extended version of a song that was never released in any other version.

12345
  1. 1Get Off My Lawn (Extended Version)11:41
  2. 2The Early Bird Gets the Mosh Pit7:35
  3. 3Back Pain Concerto10:42
  4. 4Get Off My Stage8:38
  5. 5Dinner at Four6:32
Open the record

Record 2 · 1992

Nap of Darkness

Low Tide Records · 3 tracks · 40 min

Forty minutes. Thirty-five of them are one song.

123
  1. 1Nap of Darkness35:00
  2. 2Twenty Minutes Is Plenty2:32
  3. 3Rise2:28
Open the record

Record 3 · 2003

Still Not Dead

Low Tide Records · 5 tracks · 45 min

The comeback album. The band had not left.

12345
  1. 1Still Not Dead9:04
  2. 2I Can't Hear You (And I Don't Want To)7:53
  3. 3Lane Four8:26
  4. 45:30 A.M.10:11
  5. 5We Never Left9:47
Open the record

Bulletin Item 4

The Notice Board

Posted by the mailboxes. Items are not removed.

Minutes and reports · 1990

The Noise Complaint

Condominium association meeting, Boca Raton, Florida

The board asked the band to turn it down. The band slowed it down instead. The board accepted this.

A resident of the second floor filed a written complaint about the Saturday rehearsals in the spring of 1990. The association board took it up at its April meeting. Dot attended on behalf of the band. The board asked whether the band could play more quietly. Dot said it could not. The board asked whether it could play less. Dot said it could play slower, which was nearly the same thing. The board voted four to one to accept this. The rehearsals that followed were the slowest on record.

Minutes and reports · 1994

The Walker

Clubhouse rec room, Boca Raton, Florida

Earl threw his walker into the crowd during the last song. It was passed back to the stage, hand over hand. No one was hurt.

During the final song of a Saturday-evening show in the clubhouse rec room, Earl Pittman lifted his walker, microphone still attached, and threw it into the audience. The front row caught it. It was passed back to the stage hand over hand, with the cable paid out behind it, and returned to Earl in time for the last line. No one was hurt. Earl never did it again. He always said he would.

The band loading amplifiers, a guitar case and a drum kit onto two golf carts in a condominium parking lot
Load-out to the clubhouse. Two carts. One trip.

Standing notices

The Storage Unit

The master tapes for all three albums are said to be in a storage unit in Sarasota. The rent has been paid every month since 1993. Nobody has checked.

The Palmetto Courier · Autumn 1992

Clubhouse Band Releases Forty-Minute Record

Thirty-five minutes of it are one song. The band considers this reasonable.

Old Man Creepers meet us at a breakfast counter at 6:40 in the morning. They have already swum.

COURIER: The new record is forty minutes long. The title track is thirty-five.

DOT FERRARO: Yes.

COURIER: Was it ever going to be shorter?

EARL PITTMAN: It was going to be longer. We had to stop for lunch.

Standing notices

AM Radio

Hank Drummond's amp occasionally picked up AM radio in the middle of a solo. Audiences reported weather, ballgames and a farm report. The band discussed it and decided it was intentional.

The four band members eating breakfast in an orange diner booth, two instrument cases on the floor
Breakfast, 6:40 a.m. The cases come too.

Standing notices

Sol, Backstage

Sol Brenner napped before every show, sitting up, holding his bass. He was woken at the count-in. He never missed the first note.

Standing notices

Forty-Eight

Dot Ferraro counted every song in at forty-eight beats per minute or slower. She was asked to go faster. She declined each time, in writing when necessary.

Bulletin Item 5

Excursion Sign-Up

One tour, eight stops, 2003. All dates on the east and west coasts of Florida. The bus left from the clubhouse lot.

Still Not Dead Tour · 2003

Departs 6:15 a.m. from the clubhouse lot. Please be on time.

StopDestinationRemarks
1Boca Raton, FLHome. Clubhouse rec room.
2Delray Beach, FL—
3West Palm Beach, FL—
4Port St. Lucie, FL—
5Vero Beach, FLShuffleboard pavilion.
6Melbourne, FL—
7Sarasota, FLNobody checked the unit.
8Naples, FLFinished before nine.

Comment cards

Left in the box at the front desk and entered into the record as written.

Resident comment card

★★★★★

I live on the second floor above Carport B. I filed the complaint in 1990. I have since bought all three records. Nap of Darkness is the best thing I have heard through a floor.

R. Weintraub, Boca Raton, FL

Resident comment card

★★★★★

During Hank's solo his amp picked up the marine forecast. Seas two to three feet. It fit the song perfectly. I have not been the same.

M. Ocasio, Vero Beach, FL

Resident comment card

★★★★★

The drummer is the loudest person I have ever seen. She was also the first one out of the parking lot.

T. Halvorsen, Naples, FL

Resident comment card

★★★★★

I was the lifeguard at the 5:30 swim in 1986. Four people, four lanes, a full year, not one word. When I heard Nap of Darkness I recognized it immediately. It was that year.

S. Kaplan, Boca Raton, FL

Resident comment card

★★★★★

Before the West Palm Beach show I saw Sol Brenner asleep in a folding chair, upright, holding his bass. At the count-in his eyes opened and his hand was already on the note. I have been married forty-one years and I cannot wake up like that.

B. Goldfarb, West Palm Beach, FL

Resident comment card

★★★★★

At the Naples show I asked Dot Ferraro whether she could take one song a little faster. She handed me a typed letter declining. It was dated. She had brought it with her.

Name Withheld, Bonita Springs, FL